Symptoms
The stroke had both seen and unseen symptoms. Healthcare professionals, family and friends were not aware of the unseen changes. They saw only the paralysis on one side of the body, the drooping of the face on one side and agreed I had had a stroke. What they didn’t know was that there were other symptoms that were not visible to the naked eye. These unseen changes signalled the progression of the stroke.
One-sided Paralysis
The symptoms started with the paralysis itself. Brain damage caused internal changes in the motor and sensory areas of the brain and spinal cord resulting in the visible arm and leg paralysis. Observers saw only the external paralysis. They didn’t know that I couldn’t feel the muscles on the right side of my rectum when doing a pooh. They didn’t know that the muscles of other internal organs, such as the heart and the kidneys, had been affected in the same way. My right shoulder had dropped and the nerves and muscles could be felt halfway down the upper arm. The shoulder could not be moved.
The Spoken Word
Perhaps the most distressing, for me, was the change in the spoken word. At first, I could speak naturally but a lot more slowly. So, while I needed two to three times longer to say something I could still say it. After about a week, I spoke at my natural speed. Nine weeks later the speech and language therapist noticed that I occasionally had difficulty explaining or discussing something technical. Something in my field and which I’d had no problem discussing before. She taught me to use substitute words and that seemed to take care of the problem. At this time my tongue would very occasionally point to the right.
At 6 months I found that I could occasionally use substitute words but this was no longer enough. Often I went totally blank. The every day things I could still say easily but anything more than a sentence or two long was more difficult. Yet I could see very clearly, in my minds eye, what I wanted to say. My tongue now permanently pointed towards the right. I also noticed a slight lisp. Even now, more than 3 years later, my spoken word leaves a lot to be desired. But I seem to be the only one who notices it.
Rigidity – another unseen change
Not only did the right side of my body become paralysed, it also became rigid. In my case, because I was having an evolving stroke, the rigidity came at a later stage, some 6 months after the stroke had been diagnosed. Healthcare professionals and family members assumed that the rigidity had been there from the beginning. I knew that it had come about some months later.
My right hand, though, gained another characteristic, which I found disconcerting. It would stiffly oscillate 3 or 4 times before coming to rest whenever I tried to use it. So any fluids, hot or cold, were in grave danger of spilling and I was in danger of getting hurt.
Balance and Gait Control
My balance was severely compromised but that was not surprising considering I had a right-sided paralysis. Gait was also severely compromised. In order to look over my shoulder, any shoulder, I had to brace my feet and hold on to something firm. Most of the time I chose not to turn my head because I was afraid to fall. I saw only those who were in my direct line of sight. I did not see anyone at my side or my back and I developed a reputation for ignoring people I knew.
Both the balance and gait became worse with time and now, more than 3 years later, I still walk very slowly and with a stick. I cannot turn suddenly or look up suddenly in case I fall. I have fallen a number of times since the stroke was diagnosed.
Mental and Emotional Changes
There were also changes in my mental and emotional states. I often became very abrupt. In fact many people thought I’d become rather rude. I was quick to anger and very occasionally tearful. All this was due to the brain damage I was suffering. The brain is not just a blob in the head as some seem to think. It is an organ responsible for speech, vision, smell, movement, sensation, behaviour, memory, learning, growth, balance and gait control amongst many other things. I had some of these symptoms and many, like the speech, got worse.
Zig-Zag Lights
After I had been discharged from the rehabilitation place I would sometimes get C-shaped zig-zag lights in my eyes that lasted up to 30 minutes. Though they appeared to be on the right side, I could see the lights with either eye. The lights were never accompanied by a headache. The frequency of the zig-zag was much faster at the edges of the C-shape and slower towards the centre. Whereas the C-shape started off the size of a 5p piece, two metres away from the right eye, within 10 minutes it would have covered the inner and top edges of the right field of vision and would be much nearer the right eye.
The episodes became more and more frequent until they were occurring daily two years later. By the third year they would sometimes occur twice a day.
Seizures
In the first week of the stroke I actually had two major seizures. I woke up, both times, when staff were using a hoist to get me back on the bed. I had been sitting in a chair by the side of the bed. The second time was when the doctor told me that she’d taken me off ramipril because it was known to cause seizures. I never had the major seizures again but I started having 5 – 6 absence seizures every evening. They lasted less than half a second and were more like a shudder. They occurred one after the other in about 5 minutes.
After I’d stopped all medications, apart from amlodipine and spirinolactone (blood pressure medications), I managed to reduce the absence seizures to once daily.
Gmail and computer stuff
It came as a shock when I couldn’t use Microsoft Word. I’d been using this software daily since the late 1980’s. I’d started with the DOS-based Microsoft Office version 4.3 and was now using the Microsoft Office 360 in 2015. Similarly, I couldn’t use gmail, something I’d been using since 2005. I re-learnt this very quickly, especially gmail because it was one of the ways in which I communicated with family and friends.
Bibliography
Douglas, Kirk (2002) My Stroke of Luck. London, Piatkus Books
Elliot, Susan (2016) Yes! I Shot Him: A stroke caregiver’s journey. Kindle Version. US, Susan Elliot
Maram, Brian (2016) The Stroke Survivor Handbook. Kindle Version. US, Brian Maram
Marler MD, John R (2005) Stroke for Dummies. Kindle Edition. Indiana, Wiley Publishing
